A Phantom's Touch
by cristy201
Summary: When Christine finds herself unable to stop thinking of the man she left behind she decides to go looking for him in hopes of mending what she broke, but the road she must journey is not straight or flat and she will have to face many trials. C/E--C's POV
1. Chapter 1: A Seed of Doubt

Christine's, Raoul's, and the Erik's story seemed to end with Christine choosing Raoul, and Erik disappearing though the catacombs of the Opera House, but was that really the end? Or is there more to it then that? This is an after story to ALW's 2004 Phantom of the Opera. Erik+Christine

**~my first "phanfic", so please R&R so I can know how I did, Thanks!**

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****Chapter 1: A Seed of Doubt**

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My heart was wrenched in half as I watched the phantom's figure recede into the distance. the last moments I had spent with him had cut me the deepest. he had sat in his room, waiting for us to leave, waiting for the guards to come and arrest him, waiting for his dark and dreary life to end at the hands of an angry, uncaring mob. He sang softly, with tears streaming down his face to the tune of a small toy monkey playing the symbols, a fragile smile on his lips as he carefully held the music box . I felt as if at that moment I might break down and weep, but I held myself strong. I had made my decision to leave with Raoul and now I could do nothing for the phantom without hurting him more.

I could feel my resolve weaken as I approached his dejected form to give him the ring that had been meant for Raoul and I. he looked at me with his dark brown, listless eyes and said "Christine, I love you." his one final plea which nearly shattered me.

It took all my strength to not change my mind and try to stay and comfort him, but now, as I clung to Raoul on the boat that ever increased the distance between myself and his ghostly figure his powerful aura began to weaken. Now that I could think clearer I knew I was making the more "sound" decision. But if so, then why did it feel so wrong?

I awoke to the sounds of birds twittering and chirping outside my window. The warm morning glow spilled in through the two large windows beside my bed, making my white bed sheets shine like sweet caramel. I pulled back the glossy covers and went to stand by the windows, which overlooked the large, well groomed back lawn.

The grass had been turned a sparkling green by the combination of sunlight and crystallized morning dew, and the leaves of the trees shimmered in the slight spring breeze.

From the second story of Raoul's mansion the sight was quite spectacular, but recently the splendor I usually found in the world around me had grown dim, as if a fog had begun to envelop my mind, or more accurately, as if I were waking up from a vibrantly beautiful dream to find that the real world was cold and dull.

It had been a little more then a month since Raoul had saved me from the catacombs of the Opera House. From that moment I had been engulfed in his presence every waking minute of the day in what I can only describe as living a dream.

He took me to so many grand restaurants and expensive stores, he showered me with gifts and kisses, so many I couldn't hardly refuse them all, and he made sure I was enjoying every second of it.

He invited me to come live at his place since the Opera House was in shambles and Madam Giry was too busy with girls who had been rendered temporarily homeless by the sudden demise of the grand building.

But I hadn't thought about my old life for a long time, at least not until a few days ago when Raoul left to go to a meeting to discuss some matter of estate. He left with a kiss and promised to be back soon, but the meeting lasted much longer then he had planned. It left me with almost too much free time on my hands, which I hardly knew how to deal with after nearly always having him beside me for so long.

At first it was lonely and I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I left his house to take a walk, to no were in particular, just to be able to get out and breath my own air for once, and I thought of nothing very important, and I didn't look at anything in particular, at least not until I realized I was following the road that led me by madam Giry's house.

I rushed to the house and knocked on the door a few times, suddenly very curious about how things were going. For a moment there was no reply, and my heart dropped a little, but then I heard a voice from inside and moments later the door was opened by one of the ballerina girls I recognized from the opera house. I was let into the very familiar old house were I used to stay with Madam Giry and Meg after my father died.

It was a very nostalgic feeling that washed over me. The sight of Madam Giry striding out of the kitchen to meet me made me feel like I was 10 years old again and being scolded for playing outside too late.

She embraced me warmly and from behind her Meg appeared, who gave a cry of surprise before latching onto me as well. That house was were I truly felt comfortable.

I told them of all that had happened to me and then they told me what had happened to the Opera House and the people in it.

It seemed that there were still almost too many girls who could not go home, or did not have a home to go to, and the opera house was in such a bad state that they did not know whether to destroy it all or try to restore it. At that point in the conversation Meg was called away by one of the girls, leaving me alone with Madam Giry. I tentatively asked about what situation the phantom was is, knowing she would be the only one to know anything.

She was silent for a long while, then replied that all she knew for sure was that he had escaped but the officials were still hunting him down. I left the house, numb from the news of Erik still being alive somewhere.

Back at the mansion I had stood by the window in my room looking out over the garden, much like I was doing now, and I thought... I thought about all the things I should have thought about before; my friends, the Opera House, my past, my _future_. And the longer I thought the farther down into the catacombs my mind crept, until it took me to the moment when my arms were wrapped around _his _neck, and my lips were pressed to _his_ lips, and I could feel the tears streaming down from his eyes.

Before I could catch myself I had fallen to the ground and begun to cry, berried under a pain I couldn't understand, suffocated by a past that lurked in the shadows of my mind. I was crying for the stupid way I had ran off without giving a second thought to those around me, only focusing on myself as I was engulfed in my own personal bubble of happiness, but most of all I cried because of the knowledge of what I did to Erik.

Raoul had come home to find me like that. Though everything had been a blur of emotions and strange noises, I remember that he never once touched me. Maybe it was out of fear for my condition, or just a lack of knowledge on what to do with me, but it still makes my chest tighten and hurt to think about it, that when I needed him the most, when I needed him to help me out of the pain, he wasn't there.

That was when the bubble had burst, when I woke up from my fairytale dream of charming princes who saved princesses in distress, when reality finally hit me heard enough to get my attention.

And now I sat on my window sill, the familiar gardens bellow having lost the attraction of my eye, and my mind wandering back to the days when dreams seemed less fluffy and perfect, and more mysterious and dark. But they were only fleeting memories, I knew I would never get the chance to relive them, though I had often, in the past few days, entertained the thought of trying. I felt as if I were a song bird trapped in a cage with no one to sing for.

But surely, somewhere, there was someone who still longed to hear my song.

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**Thank you so very much for reading this, please review and tell me how you liked it. Since this is the first time I've ever posted any of my writing on the internet I would really like to know what you think about it, and I will be going on with the story because I have it planed out anyway, but I'm happy to take suggestions!**

**p.s. Oh, and tell me if the chapter length is too short or too long, thanks!  
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	2. Chapter 2: Like Breaking Glass

**For all you Romance lovers out there, don't worry, I have plenty Romance in store but it's further in the story. **

**Do I have to do a disclaimer? Of _course_ I don't own any rights to the Phantom of the Opera. I don't think anyone on the site owns any rights to what they write about either, so why does everyone write disclaimers?**

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**Chapter 2: Like Breaking Glass**

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A hand grasped my shoulder firmly, causing me to jump. I spun to face the person who had touch me and came around directly in front of, and at a very close distance to Raoul. My heart skipped a beat and I staggered backwards as if I had received a physical blow.

When exactly had he come into my room? How long had he been there? And why did it feel like such a disappointment to see his face?

"Christine, are you all right?" he asked, my reaction having taken him by surprise.

He reached out to touch his hand to my forehead but I jerked away, my heart still hammering against my chest from my own shock. His expression was one of hurt, and I instantly regretted my uncontrolled reactions.

"Are you feeling alright? You've been acting strangely these last few days, and I was wondering... if you would like to talk to me about something." his kind though hesitant words helped to calm my erratic pulse but I still stood rigidly at a distance.

"It's really none of your concern, Raoul." I replied scathingly, to my horrified astonishment.

What was coming out of my mouth? It was as if I was someone else. Only a week ago I would have never even dreamed I would say anything like that to him.

"Well, excuse me, it is my duty to be concerned for your health, but if you'd rather brush me aside then maybe I shall think better of it in the future!" He snapped back.

I flinched further away and he tensed when he saw it, as if every muscle in his body was coiling up, ready to spring loose at any moment, and for the first time in my life I was afraid of him.

Just when I thought he was going to lose it he turned to storm out of the room.

My entire body quivered in horror at the whole argument. This wasn't right. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. We were supposed to be happy together, never arguing or getting so angry with each other that we would fight in this way.

But now here I was sparking flames into a pile of dry emotions which, until now, had lain dormant, but would soon ignite in a fire ball of words and actions that would scorch us both unless we did something to extinguish it.

I hurried to change clothes and quickly made my way to the dinning table were I knew I would find Raoul.

I sat down at the long table quietly, afraid of what he might do, but he didn't so much as glance my way. A maid who had seen our arrival came in with a plate of food and placed it in front of me because on a normal day we would've been cheerfully eating breakfast. But today was different. I ignored it and instead looked straight at the man on the other end of the table.

"Raoul, I... I'm sorry for what I said back there, I didn't mean it, its just... you caught me at a bad time." I tried to explain, but how would I be able to tell him that whenever I was thinking about Erik it was never a good time?

He dropped dropped his fist to the table, rattling the silverware , and let out a long breath which couldn't really have been described as a sigh because it held too much tension in it.

"This has been going on for days now, Christine, _days. _There seems to _never _be a good time to approach you, and when I do you draw back as if I'm a wild animal." he had tried to calm his voice but now it began to grow louder with his anger, "I thought I could make us happy, I thought _I _could be happy. I have done everything for you, I have spent my time and money on countless things for you, and this is the thanks I am to receive for all that?" he stood up violently, nearly knocking his chair over, and strode towards the main doors.

It was all happening much to quickly, was it really only moments ago that he had asked me in such a caring tone how I was doing? Even though all of the hurtful things he had said to me were true and I deserved his rejection but I was still trying desperately to cling to him, not out of love, but some bond that I had become so entangled in.

I dashed out of the dinning area to catch up to him but he was already opening the door to leave. I caught his arm and pulled him up short.

Wrenching his arm free he spun to face me one last time.

"I was there, I watched you scream his name!" malice dripped off his words, catching me off guard as they stopped me dead in my tracks.

"I don't... understand." I stammered.

"You would scream in the middle of the night, and when I came you would be thrashing around and crying in your sleep. Always, you were always calling his name! So the basterd phantom has a name..." he paused, almost as if reflecting, "It makes no difference, you will never love me, you will never be able to see past your own childish fantasies, so it's best that you leave now Christine. Good bye." and with that he slammed the door shut in my pale, frozen face.

I stood there, listening as he yelled for a carriage, waiting as the clipping of horses hooves came and left again, wondering when the world would stop itself and let me catch up.

My legs gave out from under me and I crumbled to the ground.

Rejection is a bitter creature, no matter who is giving or receiving it.

My hands trembled in my lap as my mind kept repeating his last words as if it were a broken record.

Had I really... screamed? _His_ name? I remembered the dreams, always the same scene; in the boat rowing away from a lifeless Erik, but I didn't remember ever screaming in them, but on the other hand the dreams always seemed to turn to mush after I awoke, loosing nearly all form and remembrance.

Heat now flushed my face, making it hot with embarrassment and... shame?

Yes, shame.

I was living with a man who I intended... _had _intended to merry one day, who had treated me perfectly, and yet I was dreaming of another man, and for that matter nearly always thinking about _him_ too.

But inside of me I couldn't find the tears to cry for our broken relationship, as if Erik were whispering into my head "Your tears are mine, and mine only!"

I slowly stood up, leaning onto the door for support, and I scanned the luxurious room.

I knew that once I left there was no turning back, and as of this moment I had been practically kicked out anyway, so it was time to say good bye to the finer things in life and someone who would take care of me, God knows I didn't deserve any of it.

I packed my things and left, turning only once to take in the full view of the house.

The only thing I felt was a tight pain in my chest for our shattered friendship which had foolishly grown into a love neither of us could maintain.

A tickle started in my stomach and began to spread. An uncontrollable smile pulled my lips up, and I felt full of energy that came out of nowhere. I couldn't keep my legs still any longer and took off sprinting down the road as if there was no tomorrow.

Meg answered the door with a surprised hop and ushered me inside with a hug and a kiss.

Madame Giry was in the living room and, instantly seeing the luggage I carried and how out of breath I was, took on a confused and worried expression. She quickly stood and crossed the room to were I stood.

"What happened?" she asked in a grave yet astonished tone.

"Raoul... Raoul and I, we ended it."

I could hear Meg gasp and Madame Giry sigh, but the only thing I could understand was the intense surge of _relief_ that flooded every vain in my body like a drug shot straight into my blood stream.

I felt my legs fail again, but this time it was out of exhaustion instead of shock and thankfully Madame Giry was close enough to steady me.

I felt like an incredible weight had been lifted off my chest and now I could finally relax and breath again.

It was as if in the past I had been balanced by the presences of both Erik and Raoul, but ever since I left Erik I had been getting dragged down by the unbalanced weight of Raoul's "love".

But now Raoul is gone, and, though I'm left with a huge void by the absence of both of them, I'm finally balanced again. And now that I'm sure footed once more I can finally move forward.

Where to? I had no idea, but whether I liked it or not I was moving somewhere, and at the moment I was content to see were my feet would choose to take me.

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**So I wanted Raoul to do something worse to Christine so she would leave him, but in the end it works better this way.  
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**R&R and I will love you forever! XD  
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	3. Chapter 3: A Twisted Road

**The end of this chapter has some adult-ish material in it, so without giving away too much, consider yourself warned ;)  
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**I don't own any rights to the Phantom of the Opera**

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**Chapter 3: A Twisted Road**

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The days were slowly loosing their chilling bite as winter turned to spring and ice turned to a muddy slush that accumulated on the side walks and roads. There was talk of a warm front coming in, but to me it felt like it had already gotten here.

As new buds began to form on the trees I felt like my life was starting anew, as if the only the only thing that mattered now was what I chose to do next and not what I had chosen to do in the past.

But of course the past still haunted me, I still found myself thinking back to those short months after I had met Raoul again in the Opera House, when everything seemed to be moving too quickly to keep up with.

I could still remember the confusion and darkness that surrounded me as Raoul suffocated me with his protection and Erik enacted his vengeful plans.

Everything had fallen apart so quickly I felt I had no other choice but to cling to the only person who seemed to faithfully stand beside me: Raoul.

Of course I can look back now and say it was all just a misplacement of feelings, but at the time I felt it was the most stable and secure place I could be. And now I was alone, having betrayed the feelings of the two men who cared for me.

The majority of the time I stayed at Madame Giry's house was spent in a foggy lull of mixed and confusing emotions; emptiness, as I felt lost, selfishness, as I wished for plush luxuries again, but most of all regret. I regretted leaving Erik, I regretted breaking the fragile, childlike heart he had so carefully placed in my hands, and sometimes I even regretted knowing him because my guilt over what I had done was so strong.

I sat in Meg's garden thinking, much like I used to years ago, the sun warming my back and the slightly muggy breeze shifting my hair.

"So what are you planning on doing?" Meg inquired as she came around around from the house to sit on the little bench we had often sat on together when we were little.

I looked up into her familiar blue eyes and saw the concern that lingered in them. She couldn't understand what had happened between Raoul and I and she couldn't understand why I wasn't staying here.

"I'm still trying to think that all the way through, but for now I think I'm just going to leave so you and mama Giry can focus on other things such as helping the ballet girls who are staying here, they need your help more then I do." I smiled at her trying, to reassure her, but her frown only deepened.

"But you have no where to go. Staying here really isn't that much of a strain on us. You don't have to leave." she pleaded, clutching my arm in her's.

I gazed off across the budding garden, loosing myself in thought.

I couldn't tell her what I was going to do because she wouldn't be able to comprehend the storm of thoughts that wracked my mind everyday, driving me to my decision. I was leaving to go find Erik.

It was the only way I could think of to right some of the wrongs I had inflicted upon him.

I didn't really know were to find him but when I had been discussing my decision with Madame Giry she had mentioned a few houses he owned where he might be found.

"_It's a long shot... but maybe, just maybe fate will be on your side this time" _she had said before warning me once more of the dangers in my plan.

"... I'm sorry Meg, I just can't stay here." I looked at the garden once more, trying to take my mind off the fact that I was once more hurting someone. I noticed a small rose bush that seemed to have died just after blooming. It was a strangely eerie sight which captured my attention.

" Meg?" I asked almost in a whisper as she was still very distressed over my choices.

She looked up at me in confusion, "Yes?" she said in a small voice.

"Why is the rose bush dead?"

"Oh, it began to bud out too early and it bloomed prematurely, but why it is dead is a mystery. I thought it might have been parasites..." she looked sadly at the bush. Every plant in her garden was like a child to her, and if one died it was an event to mourn.

I stood up, pulling my arm gently away from Meg. It was getting past noon and I had planned on leaving before then.

I went to my room and as I grabbed everything I had packed last night a thrilling feeling passed through my body.

I was really doing this, I was really running off into countless unknowns to chase after a phantom.

I had no idea what I would do if I couldn't catch him, or what I would do if I _did _catch him, all I knew was that I had to do this, for _his _sake.

I went down to the front door where Madame Giry and Meg were waiting. I embraced them and gave them each a kiss before bidding them farewell and jumping into the carriage Madame Giry had ordered for me to take to the next town.

I breathed a sigh as the carriage pulled away from the house, and I waved one last time to Meg before she was out of site. It was better that I was leaving, I didn't want to hurt her as I did Raoul with my unstable mental state.

If I hadn't felt alone before, I did now. My only companion was the road in front of me.

When I arrived at the next town I would then buy myself another ride through the next town and onto a third where I would finally come to the closest house Madame Giry knew of that Erik owned.

If he was not to be found there then I would travel to the next house, and the next, and the next, until I either found him or ran out of money, but the problem of finances was not going to come up any time soon as I had come into a good deal of money from my carrier at the Opera House.

All I had left to do now was wait, and hope that when I find him he will not completely hate me.

"_He has always been running. Since he was a child he ran from his mother who hated him because of his deformity. He became an architect who could create the most ingeniously elaborate structures, allowing one to slip in and out of a room unseen and so much more. But even the ones who had employed him feared him and his knowledge and tried to kill him. So he ran until he found a circus which augmented him into their ranks. But they also feared him, so he was beaten and abused till he could stand it no more. I was there when he suffocated the greedy man who had enslaved him, and out of pity for the boy I led him away from the horrors of the world to the Opera House._

_He seemed happy there as he built himself a castle and spread his dominion over the theater, but there was always something missing,_

_something he couldn't find no matter how hard he tried..._

_and that was true affection."_

Madame Giry's story of Erik rang through my head as I struggled to regain consciousness. There was a bump in the road that jolted the carriage before it came to a complete stop.

I sat up and yawned as I looked outside the window to see the world around me had grown quite dark.

The carriage driver opened my door and held out a hand for me and once I had stepped down he unloaded my few bags and handed them to me. I thanked him and paid him for his services, then looked around at the dark city which sent chills down my spine.

I hadn't expected the journey here to take so long and now it was well past 8 o'clock. But at least I had gotten to the town I had planned on getting to, the first town with one of Erik's houses in it.

Hesitantly I started down the road in search of a hotel. Everything was much too still, too quiet, as if the whole town where holding it's breath.

Why wasn't there anyone around? No, that wasn't quite true, there were people here, I could feel their stares as they peered at me from the safety of their homes, but none walked the streets.

There was something wrong with the town that made my skin crawl. Quickening my pace I now was nearly running down the road to the next circle of lamp light.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a shadow shift and a dark figure suddenly appeared in front of me.

I was too startled to realize I was going to run into the person and with a thud I collided with their shoulder, reeling sideways from the impact.

"I'm so sorry! Please excuse me!" I hastily apologized, out of breath from fear and running.

"Ey, tha'wasn' very polite of ya!" came the drunken drawl and husky voice of the man I had run into.

I tried to keep walking away, praying that he would leave me alone, but he grabbed my wrist in a steely grip and yanked me back around.

For the first time I took in the man's full stature; he was at least a foot taller then I and very heavy set, his arms were thick like tree limbs and he had rolled his dirty white shirt up past his elbows. His hair fell in greasy tangles around his head and what little I could see of his face was blotchy and sagging.

I tried to pull away again but he was as solid as a brick wall, he also tightened his grip on my wrist and twisted it, forcing me to take a step closer to try and ease the pain that spiked up my arm.

He smiled sideways at me as if he was having a hard time holding his head up straight and I caught a glimpse of yellow, rotting teeth.

Voices screamed in my head to run, to call out, to attack, _to do something, __**anything! **_But my body refused to respond or make a sound, I was frozen in place with fear.

The man started to advance on me and I tried backing up but my back hit a cold, hard wall, stunting my ability to retreat, and now he had pinned me.

I suddenly found my voice and began to scream, but my shriek was cut short as his hand too quickly came up to smother the sound.

He leaned in closer, his mouth opening hungrily as if he were a wolf ready to feast on a lamb, his breath wafted out of his mouth in a sickening mix of alcohol, tobacco, and rotting cavities that made my head spin and my stomach churn.

His drooping, lazy eyes groped up and down my body.

No, no, no! This just can't be happening to me! I felt like sobbing but his hand easily muffled any sound I made. I struggled like a wild cat but I was no match for his strength.

Someone! _Anyone! _Please, make him stop!

_This can't be happening!_

_**Erik!**_

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**Cliffhanger! **

**Okay, well I tried to make this chapter a bit longer but it turned out to be nearly the same length as the others, I almost broke 2,000 words in one chapter though! Not including before and after a/n's. I know, it doesn't feel like you've just read 2,000 words, BUT YOU HAVE!**

**Anyways, please review, I will love you forever!  
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	4. Chapter 4: Discord in Darkness

**The continuation of my cliffhanger, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to _the Phantom of the Opera _but I do own Germain, my OC, I keep him under my bed :3  
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**Chapter 4: Discord in Darkness**

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I could feel myself begin to hyper ventilate as the man's free hand began to move. My heart was beating so quickly I thought it might burst and I wished with all my soul for him to release me.

There was a sickening crack that split the night air and the man's hand suddenly froze. His other hand released my mouth and I gasped a mouthful of clean air as his eyes rolled back into his skull and he fell slowly to the side with a thud.

"That aught to clear your head of spirits." a masculine yet young voice came from the silhouette of another man who had appeared behind the first. He stepped around the body of the fallen man, revealing his face to me.

He had quite boyish features and a head of slightly curly, dark hair. He was dressed plainly and was carrying a large wooden two-by-four in one hand and with his other he was scratching his head.

Like a bolt of lightning had struck me it all made sense, this person, who couldn't have been much older then I, had just saved me, but now I was in his debt and at his mercy.

I clasped my hands around my mouth, afraid of what he might do with that two-by-four if I cried out.

"Hey, are you alright? What the hell were you thinking runnin' around the streets at a time like this?" he sighed and shook his head when I didn't respond, "Well, my names Germain Ackart, if you care to know, and I would like to know why such an innocent lookin' girl is traipsin' around after dark in this kind of a town."

"I... I'm looking for a hotel to stay for the night." I managed to say after a short hiatus as I tried to compose myself.

The way this man Germain referred to the town as if there was something wrong with it only helped to confirm my suspicions.

Germain looked up and down the road, his eyes flashing back and forth quickly as if taking in everything in a split second, then he laughed, and in another split second his whole demeanor changed.

He straightened up and put one hand behind his back in a very regal pose, then as he extending his other hand to me he bowed slightly.

"If that is all you require then allow me to be your guide." he purred in a charming manner, flashing a smile that was nearly the brightest thing on his face, only second to his eyes.

I hesitantly allowed him to take my hand and kiss it, then I quickly withdrew it from his grasp, but he seemed unperturbed and simply began to walk down the road, looking back once to make sure I was following. I considered running, but then again, where would I run to? At this point he was my only hope for finding my way around the town, and who knew what else might happen if I tried to find my way alone. I looked back to see the still unmoving form of my attacker and shivered, walking a little faster to catch up with Germain.

After a little while we finely made our way out of the residential section and came to a stop in front of a two story building with the word "Hôtel" on the front.

"And this," he gestured grandly towards the mundane hotel, " is where we must go our separate ways, but would you be so kind as to tell me your name, mademoiselle?" I considered all he had done for me that night and agreed with myself that he had well earned my name, if nothing else.

"Christine Daae." I smiled at him as he grinned at me, his every action was so carefree it was contagious. His presence had quickly become comforting, making me wish he could stay longer as he left me at the door and disappeared into the night.

I quickly paid for a room at the hotel and after climbing the stairs to my room on the second floor and making sure my door was securely locked behind me I fell on the bed, exhausted and trembling from the events of the night.

I could still smell the stench of the man on my clothes so I stripped down to just my chemise and crawled under the covers, squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to force sleep.

Needless to say I didn't have to force much because exhaustion quickly put me under anyway, but I couldn't say it was very restful. I could feel myself tossing and turning in my sleep, and the same scene kept playing over and over again in my head, but only these times were different. These replays had no happy ending, they had no Germain to save me. Instead I kept calling out for Erik, but Erik never came.

Sometime during the night the dreams stopped, leaving me with what I assumed was a few hours of peace before I had to wake up to a reality that wasn't much brighter then my dreams.

I got out of bed and searched for my luggage so that I could change into some fresh clothing, but my bags were nowhere to be seen. I searched the entire room but came up with nothing but the clothes I took off last night.

My heart sank as I realized where I must have dropped them. I put my old dress back on, quite embarrassed about the slightly off smell and the wrinkles that had formed in it from my lack of care, then left the hotel.

I didn't like the idea of going back to where I had been attacked last night, but I had to, encase my bags were still there.

I turned a corner and recognized the side walk I had been on, but there was no sign of my bags anywhere. I walked up the street a little more, maybe I had dropped them when I had started running without knowing it, but still there was nothing.

I should have known they would get stolen, I should have listened to the carriage driver's advice when he told me to stay the night in the last town instead of risking getting here late, if I had only used common sense I wouldn't be in this predicament.

But I didn't have the time to cry about my ill luck, I had to continue with what I had come here to do, finding Erik. But where was his house?

I wandered back towards the hotel, coming across a small wine shop on my way which I stopped in.

There was a little lady behind a desk at the front of the shop, her graying hair pinned up in a very messy bun and wrinkles forming around her eyes and mouth, she wore a plain brown skirt and a top that I assumed had once been white but was now a blotchy tan color.

"Excuse me," I began politely, "do you know where I might find a house that has been abandoned for a while? Probably secluded from other houses?" I asked, trying to think of characteristics a house would have if it had been bought by Erik.

The older lady narrowed her eyes at me, her frown deepening as she wet her lips.

"And I s'pose your looking for a particular house." her voice was unusually grave and her eyes scrutinized me relentlessly, but I only nodded.

"I wouldn't suggest venturin' around that place..." she looked out the windows of her shop as she paused, as if checking to make sure no one was listening, but then said no more. What had she been going to say? Maybe this was the house I was looking for!

"Please, could you give me directions to the house?" I tried to keep from pleading, but I could hardy stand to wait around while I was so close to what I had come for. The lady eyed me suspiciously, narrowing her dark, beady eyes even more.

"I'm looking for... a friend of mine." I said in an attempt to ease her suspicions, though it probably didn't help much at all.

Thankfully, after giving me one last look and mumbling something under her breath, she took out a peace of paper and wrote an address and some vague directions down on it, handing it to me slowly as if she wasn't quite sure she should be doing this.

I took it with a grateful smile and left, reading the note as I walked.

The writing was nearly illegible, but I was able to make out the majority of the words and street names, though following the directions was another matter entirely.

I felt as if I had been sent on a wild goose chase, going down one road just to turn around and go in the other direction or finding that I was going in a circle. Eventually I found the street in the houses address and followed it as it slowly took me out of the city and down a winding road that was bordered by enormous, old trees.

It quickly became cold as the many branches blocked out the suns rays. I shivered, wishing I had been wearing one of my shawls before my bags were stolen. If there was any greenery around this place it had been covered by the many layers of dead leaves, making the whole place look as if it was still autumn instead of spring.

As I made my way further into the thick trees the rest of the world began to dissipate behind me, and I all but forgot about my bags and the mysterious Germain.

The road took a sharp turn, and before I knew it I was standing in front of a very elegant house. It was built in stone, with three stories of tall and wide windows. The third story looked like attic space as the windows where only half as long. Around every window and in between every level the stone was a lighter shade of cream and protruded out further then the other stone, it was also carved to resemble pillars and other interesting shapes which I couldn't make out due to the ivy vines that snaked up the sides.

I carefully took a step forward onto the lawn which had overgrown the walkway. A black furry creature broke through the unruly hedges that encircled the house and froze as it spotted me. It was a black, stray cat, and it peered at me with amber eyes before slinking off to the other side of the lawn and disappearing again.

The sight of the sickly looking cat sent a chill down my spine, but I continued to the house.

I paused before knocking on the door, listening as I picked out the faint sound of a piano coming from within. I carefully opened the door, praying it wouldn't squeak on it's hinges, and stepped inside, my foot falling on something that crinkled under my weight.

On the floor in front of me were hundreds of sheets of music, all strewn across the floor, some crumpled up in balls and others with ink splattered all over them, striking out large sections of measures.

I ventured further in, drawn by the sound of the piano, but this was no famous tune being played, or even a tune at all, but rather a string of notes that had no melodious relationship at all. It sounded as if a cat had jumped onto the piano and was walking back and forth.

Following the trail of music and music's disfigured sound I found my way into a large room with an enormous window in one side to let in light. The room had wood floors covered in dust and was sparsely furnished, with only a few curtains around the windows and a large chair off to one side by a dormant fireplace.

But what caught my eyes wasn't the bare room or even the black grand piano situated near the window so that the sun shone off it's polished surface, but the person sitting in it's seat.

Hunched over the keys with his head placed on the edge where sheets of music should have been, was the large form of Erik, his hands moving slowly across the keys, playing seemingly at random, yet the broken sound was heart wrenching to hear.

Tears clouded my vision as I saw a man who used to be so strong and confident had now been thrown into discord, and all because of my actions, my ignorant, selfish actions.

I tried to take a step closer but then froze as the sound stopped.

Something white fell to the ground, making the hollow room ring.

Then slowly, ever so slowly, Erik's form began to slump to the side.

His hands no longer grasped at the keys, but merely followed him as he fell to the ground.

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**This is my longest chapter yet, but chapters probably wont be this long in the future.**

**So have you all heard of the sequel Andrew Lloyd Weber is making to the stage production of PotO? it's gonna be AMAZING!  
**

**But anyway, please Review! Tell me what you think so far! Give some constructive criticism if you so please! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!  
**


	5. Chapter 5: Sick Hearts

**Hello! As some of you may have noticed, this chapter is a few weeks late, I sincerely apologize for that, I was having some serious PC issues but they have been worked out, have no fear! **

**As always, the disclaimer blas. and now the chapter!**

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**Chapter 5: Sick Hearts**

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Before I knew what I was doing my feet were moving, rushing forward to where Erik lay unmoving. I fell to my knees beside him, momentarily struck with indecision.

_Should I touch him?_

I had left him for another man, he would hate me even more for coming back, so why would I want to touch him when it would only bring pain to both of us?

But I knew I had to help him, weather or not he would despise me for it.

I carefully placed my hands on his shoulder and pulled him over slightly on top of my knees, finally able to get a good view of him.

"Oh God, Erik!" I put one hand over my mouth to stifle the gasp of horror that tried to escape.

He seemed to have passed out and his face was deathly pale and beaded with sweat. His hair looked as if nothing had been done with it in days. He was also much lighter then I remembered him being, and his clothes were in very bad condition, as if he hadn't bothered to clean them in weeks and on top of that was cutting at them.

But it wasn't just his physical appearance that shocked me, it was also this entire situation. He was the strong, proud type of man who would never leave himself in such a degraded, vulnerable state. What had driven him to such destructive ends?

I held his face in my hands and tilted it up to me, trying to better take in his features. Gingerly sweeping aside his long hair I touched my hand to his forehead.

"_He has a fever" _were the only thoughts that came to mind, and they kept repeating louder and louder until it was roaring in my ears. I had to do something quickly, but what? It was all so hellishly unreal. What kind of horrible situation had God thrown at me now?

With a sudden surge of determination and adrenaline I jumped up and ran through the first floor of the house, locating the bedrooms. Erik's bedroom was no doubt on the second floor but I didn't have the strength to haul him up the stairs, so instead I put his arm around my shoulders and dragged him as carefully as I could to a bedroom down the hall.

_At least he's lighter _I thought bitter-sweetly, emitting something of a laugh as I strained to carry his still very heavy body into the room. How I could laugh in this kind of situation I didn't know, maybe it was the overpowering fear that had driven my mind off the edge.

After getting him into the bed and taking off his sweat soaked vest and shirt I ran to the kitchen to grab a wet towel. When I cam back to him he was violently shaking, his whole body shivering.

"Hold on, just hold on. You'll be okay soon, you will be alright." I whispered shakily, sounding more like I was trying to reassure myself.

My mind was racing from one thing to another; I knew I had to get something more for his fever then a wet towel. I couldn't help him without medicine, but where would I find anything? I was completely new to this town. Wait, yes I did know, I had passed a drug store by the wine shop.

I turned to leave but paused before I could reach the door. Should I leave him alone in his condition? Would I be able to get the medicine and get back in time to save him? Was he too far gone to even _be _saved?

I didn't know, I didn't know anything, but I left the house anyway, sprinting down the road into town, hoping this was the right decision.

All the crisscrossing roads on the town became a labyrinth, a maze, and I was the mouse, trying to find my way to the prize at the finish.

When I finally found the drug store and burst in I was so out of breath that I could hardly tell the tall man in the store what I needed, and once I got it out he simply gave me a criticizing look and told me to wait where I was.

I did so, considering asking him to come back to the house to help me, but decided against it in the end. Who knew what Erik might do to a stranger in his fever induced state. He was unconscious now but there was no telling how long that would last. I couldn't risk it.

Of course, there was also the very large chance that he would attack me as well and I was putting myself in a very dangerous situation, but I would take my chances, though it would be all to fitting for me to meet my untimely demise at his hands.

It felt like it took forever for the man to reappear from the back of his shop carrying a bottle of liquid in one hand. I couldn't have been anymore excited even if it had been pure gold, and I quickly paid for the bottle.

"Make whoever is sick drink this twice a day, mornin' and night, and it'll break the fever." the man called to me as I rushed out the door.

It was getting on to mid day and the heat was beginning to make everything very muggy. The sun continually beat down on me with no cloud in the sky to stop it, and the humidity made my heavy breathing a labor.

After miraculously finding my way back to the road that led to the house I sprinted the rest of the way. I burst through the front door as quietly as possible, then rushed down the hallway to Erik's room.

I began to open the door when something heavy bumped into it. I pushed it open to find Erik staggering around the room, clearly disoriented.

He put his hand on the wall to steady himself but his body still swayed, bringing him dangerously close to falling. I quickly ran to his side, wrapping one arm around his waist and with my other taking his hand and pulling it across my shoulder for more balance, slowly pushing him back to the bed while supporting most his weight. At least it was easier when he had his feet under him, and he was surprisingly easy to move. Besides a bit of stumbling and worthless stubbornness, I quickly got him to lie back down, and he apparently was so delirious he didn't even register that someone else was there.

I fell into a chair near the vanity and let out a sigh of relief and exhaustion.

All I could think was _he's still alive _before I remembered the medicine and hauled myself out of the room and into the kitchen.

My quest was to find a spoon, but that proved harder then it might sound as the kitchen looked as though no one ever used it. It had very little supplies, but after some hard looking I found a box of silverware.

After thoroughly cleaning off the spoon I had selected I made my way back to the room to find that Erik had thankfully not gotten up again but was now thrashing around in the bed, mumbling things that had no understandable meaning.

I hesitantly stepped closer, not sure how to get him to drink the medicine, not sure how he would react, not sure how long I could wait. I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

I couldn't do this, this wasn't what I had been preparing myself for, this wasn't how I was supposed to come back to him.

He was supposed to be angry, even violent, but not sick and dying!

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat that formed as my eyes began to water and my chest constricted. I took a step back, then another until I had finally turned and left the room. I couldn't take it, I couldn't care for him like this, not when I wasn't strong enough to watch him in so much pain. What was I even doing here?

I crumbled to the ground in the hallway and berried my head in the folds of my skirt, covering my ears with my hands in an attempt to shut out the noise.

For a moment I simply sat there, allowing my mind to go blank, soaking in the few moments of peace it offered. I didn't want to stand up and go back into the room, that would mean I would have to face reality.

But I could feel reality slowly creeping in once more. Whether I liked it or not, sometime I would have to stand up and do something. I couldn't keep running away, letting myself slip into denial like I had before.

If I had stood up for myself and not let Raoul or Erik carry me off as they liked I could have spared us all a little horror and heart break. Or if I had used any scrap of common sense I wouldn't have been so disillusioned by the thought of my father sending me an "angel of music", then I wouldn't have been so terribly shaken when I realized he as merely a man, flawed, yes, but still just a man.

So I stood up, took a deep breath, and swore to myself that I wouldn't run away again, I would stay and do what I came here to do; help Erik in whatever way possible.

Even though, as I walked back into the room, it felt like all the wind was being knocked out of my lungs I still pushed through, my goal firmly set in my mind once more.

It was no simple task making Erik hold still. Often I found myself in very odd or embarrassing positions on top of him as he either rolled to one side or pulled me over, both forcing me to sit on him to hold down his movements, but eventually I found that singing to him softly was the best way to calm him.

When he was finally still enough I proceeded to fill the spoon with the cool, liquid medicine and slowly tipped it into his mouth, all the while humming a little tune I barely remembered as best as possible.

After a little while he stopped moving entirely and I froze in fear, until I heard the soft, steady breathing of him sleeping, quickly melting me into a puddle of relief.

I slipped off the bed and slowly fell to my knees beside it, resting my head on it in utter exhaustion. If I thought I had been tired after running through town and back, it was nothing compared to how I felt now after wrestling the bear of a man, Erik.

I laughed again, he sure was as strong as a bear, with all the charming qualities of a peacock, the voice of an angel, and a brain so far beyond a regular humans yet still so childlike.

Once I realized the path my mind was on I quickly stood up and shook my head to try and dislodge the thoughts but they still persisted to invade. I had to do something to take my mind off of him, so I desperately scanned the room.

On the vanity I spotted an old comb and I moved to grab it and the chair and bring them both back to the bed side. I carefully leaned over Erik and began to brush out his matted, greasy hair, starting on one side then slightly tilting his head and finishing on the other side. Well, so much for taking my mind off of him, because now I was very much fixated on his face.

_At least he looks better then before,_ I thought as I swept the untangled strands of hair from his face before wiping it again with the towel I had grabbed earlier while running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I started to have a little hope that things were going to get better faster, but I also dreaded when the time came when I would have to explain why I was here, why I thought I had the right to care for him, and everything else I knew he would ask, if he didn't just throw me out immediately.

My heart hurt in my chest as I thought of that. I didn't know if I could take his rejection. Everything was finally so clear to me, I could truly say now that I wanted Erik more then life itself, I would do everything in my power to make him happy. But what if he had moved on? What if he didn't want me? I had come so far just building myself up for this encounter, but in a few short hours it was reduced to nothing.

What would happen when he finally awoke?

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**So I hope you will forgive the lateness of this chapter, and sorry to keep you waiting.  
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**Okay, so you probably don't really care, but what is important is that you tell me how you liked this chapter by reviewing it!**

**For the next chapter I think I'll play around with creative genius gone wild (aka, what Erik did while Christine was with Raoul), and maybe the return of Germain, so that's your sneak peak!**


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